!! OMG, Hypnotize your weiner! !!
[[comments: 0]]
Who knew that you could actually increase the size of your thing using ONLY YOUR MIND? No painful injections, weird pills, or bizarre massaging techniques. All you have to do is listen to a few MP3 files! I guess if you just hypnotize yourself into thinking you have a huge D, it will magically cooperate? That's what a comely hypnotist known as "Victoria" claims, anyway:
Yes it is true! The mind can dramatically affect the size of your penis, erect and flaccid. Most men experience an average of 1-2? increase in length and fuller girth. Listen to these CD's for 4-6 weeks and find out for yourself how to reach your potential. Many men report more control and greater sensation during the growth process. Guaranteed results! only $99.00 for all six sessions.
At first I was skeptical, but I was quickly won over thanks to these shockingly convincing testimonials:
"Victoria, I just wanted to let you know that even though I was very skeptical at first, I immediately noticed a small improvement right away (1/4 ") in the first couple weeks, which motivated me to keep listening. Over a six-week span I am now 1 1/2 inches bigger. I am ecstatic! I last longer. I feel enthusiastic. Victoria, your program is so easy, all I do is listen to your soothing voice everyday and I can literally feel the changes taking place in my penis while I'm listening." -Jason
"Victoria, You probably don't remember me, but I thought I'd write to thank you for your penis enlargement hypnosis CDs. At first, I had trouble (I couldn't induce a hypnotic state), and I didn't see results for a while. But eventually everything clicked, and I just had to write to report on my progress, which I feel is pretty amazing.
You were right. Thanks to you and your CDs, I'm now between a quarter and an eighth of inch of my goal of 9 inches erect, and by about 6-7/8 in girth (for an increase of about 1-3/4 inches in length and 1-1/8 in girth)"
Oh, also, there is $10m USD waiting for you in a Nigerian bank account! Obviously I don't endorse this completely fake-seeming technique, but if anyone who has used it wants to send me pictures of their giant, hynosis-enhanced penises, I will totally change my tune. (Maybe.)
(Here's the link if you're really desperate to waste a hundred bucks. Thanks to Linwood for the tip!)
__________
posted by Bmad on Monday, February 8, 2010
permalink | category: Retarded
| leave a comment
!! OMG, Karaoke Can Be Deadly !!
[[comments: 0]]
The New York Times brings us a very important report today about the scourge of Karaoke-related murders that are sweeping the Phillipines. Whatever you do, don't sing Frank Sinatra!
GENERAL SANTOS, the Philippines -- After a day of barbering, Rodolfo Gregorio went to his neighborhood karaoke bar still smelling of talcum powder. Putting aside his glass of Red Horse Extra Strong beer, he grasped a microphone with a habitué's self-assuredness and briefly stilled the room with the Platters' "My Prayer."
...But Mr. Gregorio, 63, a witness to countless fistfights and occasional stabbings erupting from disputes over karaoke singing, did not dare choose one beloved classic: Frank Sinatra's version of "My Way."
"I used to like 'My Way,' but after all the trouble, I stopped singing it," he said. "You can get killed."
The authorities do not know exactly how many people have been killed warbling "My Way" in karaoke bars over the years in the Philippines, or how many fatal fights it has fueled. But the news media have recorded at least half a dozen victims in the past decade and includes them in a subcategory of crime dubbed the "My Way Killings."
While this problem may be currently restricted to the Phillipines, I wouldn't be surprised if the rest of the world quickly followed. I don't know about My Way in particular, but I've definitely been moved nearly to murder watching a bunch piss drunk frat idiots singing Don't Stop Believin'. And do not get me started on Sister Christian!
__________
posted by Bmad on Monday, February 8, 2010
permalink | category: Dangerous
| leave a comment
!! OMG, how contemporary: Charo !!
[[comments: 1]]
Charo sings Rihanna's "Please Don't Stop the Music" live on some telethon. Who would you rather watch? Ri-Ri or Cha-Cha? (Thanks to Tommy for the tip!)
__________
posted by Frank on Monday, February 8, 2010
permalink | category: Musical
| leave a comment
!! OMG, He Dances: Mambo Dog !!
[[comments: 2]]
It is extremely important that you watch this dancing dog.
__________
posted by Bmad on Monday, February 8, 2010
permalink | category: Cute
| leave a comment
!! OMG, She's Part of a Global Conspiracy: Lady Gaga !!
[[comments: 3]]
For those of you who thought "Rah, rah, oh la la" was just nonsense babble, think again. It turns out Lady Gaga is an agent for the Illuminati and is trying to control your mind. I mean, or, you know, maybe not. You can read this in-depth investigation and decide for yourself. If you're not under their control already...
__________
posted by Bmad on Monday, February 8, 2010
permalink | category: Dangerous
| leave a comment
!! OMG, celebrity divorce gamble !!
[[comments: 0]]
What actress and her ex-husband decided important pieces of their divorce settlement with a coin toss? Find out here.
__________
posted by Frank on Saturday, February 6, 2010
permalink | category: Celebrated
| leave a comment
|
